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pig_fest_at_noon
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Name: kat
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Da Ghetto
Birthday: 11/21/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: JESUS CHRIST. and youth. singing, dancing, and acting. musicals. Bonanza! Antonio Banderas! Texas Rangers, Atlanta Braves, and the Boston Red Sox.. uh Auburn University. my family and friends..the Solomon Islands. painting. attempting daring feats. fuzzy sweaters and little foot-booties.. SLEEEP. mchicken sandwiches. big red and sunkist! mime. the small things..
Expertise: flatuating..
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  soccerqueenkb
Member Since:
12/23/2004
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| Just a disclaimer: I don't mean this AT ALL. i could not be more content with my chosen career or life right now. This is simply me playing a sort of devil's advocate. not sure if THAT'S even what it is, but eh...haha. :)
WANTED: one brain fully focused and centered. No room for dreams; practicality is a must. Preferably seeking one with multitasking abilities.
Don't tell me it's not possible. I know it is. It must be.
It has to be.
See, I'm through.
Through with the tears that come from witnessing a catharsis of the soul through artistic collaborations. Why should Rodgers and Hammerstein hold the key to my happiness?
I'm through. Through with plastering my dreams on my forehead (or maybe facebook) - Musical Theatre Major. What a joke. Maybe they're right.
I'm through. Through with the words, "totes, fierce, sick, epic..." blah. blah blah blah. Why can't we use words in the correct context? After all, we're all supposed to be English teachers when our voices dry up and our bodies lose the limberness of our youth. Sure we can still act. But isn't everyone an actor?
I'm through. Through with trying to pretend that it doesn't scare me to death. That I know I'm gonna make it after all. Mary Tyler Moore has no right to make such a promise.
I'm through. Not because I've got a better plan for my life. But because I know this one is a totes epic failure. A lone, brave girl girl out to change the world, one Broadway show at a time. How cute. How disgusting. There MUST be more to this provincial life. But I'm not a Belle, I'm a gong. And when I bong, watch out world.
B O N N N N N G G G G
(I'm through.) | | |
| I think it's truly amazing how we're able to remember certain things. That God gave us the ability to retain the sense of a person or place's smell...the colors of a landscape...the way something tastes....even the feelings we felt. It really just blows my mind.
now, mind you, i don't remember things about the Solomon Islands that i wish i could. in fact, i don't remember much at all...
and is that because i never thought i'd have to leave and 10 years later I'd be trying to conjure up images and smells and tastes and feelings...? or is it because children really don't retain many childhood memories. and the ones they do retain are usually weird or random...
maybe it's both. i don't know...i don't know much. haha. (this kind of got off topic..)
but! i do know...
for the past 2 years there hasn't been a day that's gone by where i haven't thought about panama...whether it's the laughter, tears, and many hours of deep conversation shared with many incredible people i will most likely never see again on earth...or the way it felt when a little panamanian girl sidled up next to me and reached for my hand without a word...remaining silent the entire morning of VBS, but grinning and shining (literally) with joy. just to be cuddling with this random gringa in a run-down, more-on-fire-than-any-other-church-i've-ever-been-in House of worship.
i can still remember the sense of peace and complete abandonment to the Lord's calling as my ministry group walked around our mile-long island and prayed for each hut individually...knowing that's what God had brought me all the way to the Kuna Yala Islands for---to pray.
i remember feeling, for the first time in my life, that i could die happy.
you ask me what i did last week and i would really have to think about it, and then probably answer in about two sentences. you ask me what i did two years ago in panama, and we could talk for hours...
why is it that some things stick so well in our brains? do we tell ourselves to remember them? are they just so haunting or wonderful that we can't help but forget? or does God place them there. and bring them back up in our minds when he wants to teach us something...?
i'm sure there's an awesome scientific explanation...and once again, i sure as heck don't know what it is. haha. but it's fascinating. we, humans, are fascinating.
hmmm. this was just a way to express my emotions via rambling via xanga. :).
basically...
there are two things that can really, truly make me cry/have made me cry. a phenomenal performance by a Broadway cast or performer, and a story or experience from the mission field.
i know i've gotta do certain things in my life. haha, i've gotta try for Broadway. and i've gotta be a missionary. never in my life have i ever, EVER felt more at peace and more terrified than when i'm in a show or on the mission field. SO EXCITING. SO SO SO EXCITING. they both are! just, GAH! haha.
anyhow..sorry to ramble.
in the words of the Kuna people: "Babe bindake" (God bless you:))
-kb
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| it's been really hard this year to not get discouraged... things haven't turned out like i thought. i know it will be a huge year of growth, but instead of being excited-i'm just exhausted thinking about it. ha. so much work to do...things to apply myself to....patience to have...it's already overwhelming. for the first time in a long time, i live for the weekends. haha. i'm becoming one of THOSE people...;). i do feel very blessed at this time in my life to be surrounded by an amazing group of friends to encourage me and lift my spirits. i've never really had a set group before...and it's so incredible to see how that came to be. but friends aside, other areas of my life are just rough. i'm trying to work hard and do my best, but i'm physically and mentally exhausted! *whew*. Holy Spirit, I need Your touch more than ever before Oh Jesus, I need Your love and I'm desperate for more When I feel Your presence all around me When I feel Your arms as they surround me, Yeah, yeah I cannot hide my love... -enter the worship circle. and so we press on... i'm praying for y'all. | | |
| this summer has been such a time of growth for me...and it's really exciting to know that the growing doesn't stop here! junior year is gonna be tough-i'm positive of that. but, i also know i'm gonna continue to grow and my faith will continue to be strengthened. i'm so ready .
don't get me wrong..i love summer. i can't believe it's almost over...
i'm actually starting to seriously look at colleges now. it's a strange feeling. ha.
movie filming this next week! exciting stuff.
that's really all i have to say..haha. God Bless
"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--its painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." -Hebrews 12:11 (NLT)
oh, and for the record...i have the most beautiful friends.
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| My heart is broken
my spirit crushed
there is aching in these arms to feel your touch
Rescue me quickly
Lord, hear my cry
I am reaching out my hands
my soul is dry
Be near to me
Be near to me
I will taste and see that you are Good
so Good!
-Enter the Worship Circle
amazing praise and worship group...go have a listen.
http://www.entertheworshipcircle.com
my God is good...
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